New Words for the 90's Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles. Ego Surfing: Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name. 404: Someone who's clueless. "Don't bother asking him; he's 404."From the WWW error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document couldn't be located. Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running. Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake. SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages. Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes have when their mobile goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence. Midair Passenger Exchange - Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain." Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing. "This is uh.. Dale, my...um...friend..." Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous £20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe £8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
