Rough couple of days

Whos only ever been 'spoilt' with a cane .... go figure.

fuck me, the scriptwriters at eastenders don't need to look any further then here for the next storyline.

Too fukn right! My boy comes first now and I would never allow him to see my hurt, and that is hard to do. Well done darling. xx

exactly. yeah the weekend is for me but the week ellie is the one thing i wake up for.

They give life meaning and the blokes, drugs, clubs mean nothing anymore if you did not have them to ground you. They are amazing and take over your life so you don't have time to even think about killing yourself if you wanted to. And even if you did, who could you truly trust to take your baby on??? Puts life into perspective, hey??!!

See! This is what we mean!!!!! Its always you thats worse off!

I have cerebral palsy, i can't speak or control my mouth, I can't walk properly, I have to put up with abuse and funny looks every day, I need help with most things like cooking and stuff, the right side of my body is virtually useless, I'll never be able to do the things that you take so much for granted. Imagine never being able to kiss, imagine never being able to use the phone properly, imagine having problems brushing your teeth, imagine always having to rely on other people just so I can live a normal life as possible. This will go on for another 50/60 years. Can you even imagine what that thought does to me?

Yes, i've complained. Yes I've wanted to die. But the simple fact is that I get on with my life for the most part. Believe it or not, I'm fucking lucky and I know I am. I have a great girlfriend, the best mates I could ask for, the best family, a degree, a masters, my own flat. I didnt get all that just by moping around feeling sorry for myself for 24 years though. Why? Because I know it could have been a whole lot worse and I'm really lucky to have what I do. I wouldnt swap this life for anything in the world because I've got the things that are most important to me and I always will have. If you stopped and thought about it for a second instead of being like this, I bet you'd have a lot to be thankful for too.

Rant over.

see lee? people dont realise how lucky they are which boils me.

Yes I know Lee, Ive met you before. However I dont sit here and bitch at you in every post you make do I! Regardless of what I post about I always get shit!

because he does not winge about everything!! and abuse other people on the board. or make out who crap everything is.

i dont bitch at everything hannah. you just piss me off big style. but hey thats you.

Well you sound an interesting person and I know like myself you don't need or want people to say well done, because it has been your life and you came to deal with it a long time ago. Were used to being us, and I guess if if people are unhappy with themselves and life they obviously don't have much of a life!!!! You are welcome to one of my parties anytime. xx

Legend :angel2:

It's jsut took me donkey's to read through all this, probz could've spent my time more constructively but hey! Every single person on this board has problems, not that I know everyone but every single person in the world does, noone is perfect. But I don't see anyone posting about their problems on here except Hannah, maybe there may be the odd my blokes a git bla bla bla, I'm hungover etc. But this is a clubbing message board, why do you need to post things about your personal life on here when most people couldn't give a fuck and as harsha s it may sound will probably end up having a laugh about it, because in their eyes it doesn't matter. If you really want to talk about it or whatever go and see someone who is actually bothered and someone who can actually help you instead of talking abut it on here where you're jsut going to get stick and grief which will make you worse. I know that certain things aren't easy, and you must be finding things hard, but jus tthink of the positive things in life, you can't dwell on the negative thigns or noone would get anywhere. You're obviosuly at least slightly talented as a DJ or you wouldn't get gigs at big places so why don't you try and focus your energy into that instead of wasting your time talking to a blank screen where it's going to make you feel worse?!

My opinion anyway

That he definately is!

I couldnt care less about DJing right now.

people who commit suicide for no good reason are fucking selfish to be honest. Do they not think about their family and friends who will be fucking devastated if they died, not to mention the millions of sperm they once swam with and theyre the only one who got a chance and they go and do themselves in. life is for living, once your gone theres no second go. its not like a fucking game. once your dead your dead.

STEP AWAY FROM THE BAD SHIT AND DO YOUR BEST TO LIVE ON

Try being inside the mind of a suicidal person, when all you want is to escape the unbearable pain which pulses through you uncontrollably, non-stop.

deal with it like an adult. thas what i say.